Blue Skies

The cluttered chaos that is my brain has been doing some thinking and I've come to the conclusion that from now on I'm living my life for me and not by anyone else's expectations. Now, I should have had this revelation long ago. And to be fair, I have, but I cannot say that I ever really put it into practice.

As I was preparing to write this, Trey Songz tweeted:
"@TreySongz"
Life is short don't waste it living for other people.

As often as I've heard this, I can't say its something I've tried to live by, although I might mean to. I remember a song on Bow Wow's Unleashed album about him growing up and coming into his own, and he said, "You only get one life and can't nobody live it but you." As a fourteen-year-old, I affirmed this statement. But at that age you don't always realize the pressures society puts on you. Back then I didn't have any worries or a reason to feel like I wasn't living my life to the fullest. But its now when I think back on those times that I begin to wonder what I've done with my life and just how much experience I'm getting out of it. And might I add its not a lot.

Awhile back I retweeted something by Kanye West:
"@kanyewest"
hmmmm.. how can I word this non-controversially ???... just something that goes through my mind every time I'm about to speak

But to be honest I don't feel I should have to suppress or apologize for my words or my actions as long as I mean them sincerely and I take responsibility for them. I'm always worried about being misunderstood because I don't want others getting the wrong impression of me. But in turn it has only made me MissUnderstood. It makes one unrelatable and uninteresting. Voice is a gift and God intended for you to use it. From now on, I shall speak what I feel and mean what I speak.

I'm tired of pretending that everything is alright and just getting by. I want to live! and have something to show for it. I want to make an impact, at least if not on the world, on someone, even if that someone is me or you!

I opened a fortune cookie the other day and it read: The rainbow's treasures will soon belong to you. Well, I'm praying on it!

The best why to describe how I'm feeling right now is: